Raisins

True confessions: I consciously avoided my workout this morning, and I don't feel that guilty about it... mostly because I will be doing burpees this evening.

So! How did I fare this holiday weekend? The holidays are still a little sore. This is the second one without my stepfather and no matter how much laughter you fill my mother's home with, there is still an empty space where his used to be. I fully expected my emotional eating persona to be there in full regalia, ready to stuff handfuls of food into a gaping mouth..... There were over 18 people there I believe, and the food was incredible. I allowed myself whatever I wanted and here's what I learned:

- I can still put away an amazing amount of cheesecake.
- Bread stuffing is still delicious, but I lose my taste for it after a couple of bites.
- 100 burpees two hours before dinner is now a tradition.
- Taking a vacation from my normal way of eating really stresses me out.

This last one I'd like to elaborate on. While it was fantastic to dive in and pick and grab and stuff into my mouth everything I wanted, it left me feeling completely empty emotionally. WEIRD. I know what you are asking... "ErikaJeanne, how the hell does half a pan of cheesecake leave you emotionally empty?" I tried. With each bite I anxiously awaited that feeling. The one that washes over and you just feel, satiated. It never came. I was disturbingly full, and yet completely empty. It wasn't until I came home and ate some raisins that my body hit that "oh yeah, that's the ticket" phase. Really, body 'o mine? Raisins? Is that comparable to offering a child the fanciest toy on the planet and all they want to do is play with the cardboard box?

Before everyone circles up and starts screaming "witch" at me, please note that I did enjoy eating all that food. I am still human. However, my indulgences were far more reserved than previous years, AND I jumped right back up on the clean eating pony the next morning. It felt better than eating the cheesecake.