True confessions: I consciously avoided my workout this morning, and I don't feel that guilty about it... mostly because I will be doing burpees this evening.
So! How did I fare this holiday weekend? The holidays are still a little sore. This is the second one without my stepfather and no matter how much laughter you fill my mother's home with, there is still an empty space where his used to be. I fully expected my emotional eating persona to be there in full regalia, ready to stuff handfuls of food into a gaping mouth..... There were over 18 people there I believe, and the food was incredible. I allowed myself whatever I wanted and here's what I learned:
- I can still put away an amazing amount of cheesecake.
- Bread stuffing is still delicious, but I lose my taste for it after a couple of bites.
- 100 burpees two hours before dinner is now a tradition.
- Taking a vacation from my normal way of eating really stresses me out.
This last one I'd like to elaborate on. While it was fantastic to dive in and pick and grab and stuff into my mouth everything I wanted, it left me feeling completely empty emotionally. WEIRD. I know what you are asking... "ErikaJeanne, how the hell does half a pan of cheesecake leave you emotionally empty?" I tried. With each bite I anxiously awaited that feeling. The one that washes over and you just feel, satiated. It never came. I was disturbingly full, and yet completely empty. It wasn't until I came home and ate some raisins that my body hit that "oh yeah, that's the ticket" phase. Really, body 'o mine? Raisins? Is that comparable to offering a child the fanciest toy on the planet and all they want to do is play with the cardboard box?
Before everyone circles up and starts screaming "witch" at me, please note that I did enjoy eating all that food. I am still human. However, my indulgences were far more reserved than previous years, AND I jumped right back up on the clean eating pony the next morning. It felt better than eating the cheesecake.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It doesn't get easier, you just get better
Operation Core of Power seems to be working. My push ups are better, my pull ups are better, everything is just generally better. Better does not mean easy. Nothing is easy, except watching a Weeds marathon. That is easy.
Yesterday's hell fire was:
800m run
15 DB push press (20#)
400m run
15 DB dead lift (35#)
800m run
15 DB push press (20#)
400m run
15 DB dead lift (35#)
I took it a little lighter on the weight with the push press because my shoulders are acting up. I think I may just need to spend more time warming up, because by the end of the WOD, the presses were like leetle feathers. My time was marginal, everything seemed a little harder and that set the stage for the remainder of my day. By 7:30 I was over it, and put myself to bed. Yes. Seven thirty in the evening. Lights off, covers over the head. I told myself that tomorrow (today) was a second chance, let's do it better.
Holy hell I certainly started it off correctly. Erin, solid dark horse of superior skill and speed, was my partner for this little puker:
400m run
100 sit ups
100 med ball passes
100 supermans
100 wall balls 14#
400m run
Time: 15:32
On that final run my mantra was: "don't puke, keep moving"
I really, really wanted to throw up.
Like, a lot.
Thankfully that didn't manifest into reality when I got back into the gym. I had to leave quickly to make a dentist appointment and leave the pull up practice behind...boo. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined dead hang pull ups to be more attractive to me than a good teeth cleaning (I do love getting my teeth cleaned).
My FUH-avorite holiday is tomorrow. I do not plan on being strict with myself, but my version of a binge differs greatly from what it was a year ago. Last year a piece of pie and some wine wouldn't rock the boat too much. Presently, any amount of pie or wine has the potential to knock me on my ass the next day, and I really do not want to feel like shit on Friday. Really.
I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! If you need recipe suggestions, check out my other blog: Eat Clean Live Strong. There's some good stuff hidden in there......
Yesterday's hell fire was:
800m run
15 DB push press (20#)
400m run
15 DB dead lift (35#)
800m run
15 DB push press (20#)
400m run
15 DB dead lift (35#)
I took it a little lighter on the weight with the push press because my shoulders are acting up. I think I may just need to spend more time warming up, because by the end of the WOD, the presses were like leetle feathers. My time was marginal, everything seemed a little harder and that set the stage for the remainder of my day. By 7:30 I was over it, and put myself to bed. Yes. Seven thirty in the evening. Lights off, covers over the head. I told myself that tomorrow (today) was a second chance, let's do it better.
Holy hell I certainly started it off correctly. Erin, solid dark horse of superior skill and speed, was my partner for this little puker:
400m run
100 sit ups
100 med ball passes
100 supermans
100 wall balls 14#
400m run
Time: 15:32
On that final run my mantra was: "don't puke, keep moving"
I really, really wanted to throw up.
Like, a lot.
Thankfully that didn't manifest into reality when I got back into the gym. I had to leave quickly to make a dentist appointment and leave the pull up practice behind...boo. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined dead hang pull ups to be more attractive to me than a good teeth cleaning (I do love getting my teeth cleaned).
My FUH-avorite holiday is tomorrow. I do not plan on being strict with myself, but my version of a binge differs greatly from what it was a year ago. Last year a piece of pie and some wine wouldn't rock the boat too much. Presently, any amount of pie or wine has the potential to knock me on my ass the next day, and I really do not want to feel like shit on Friday. Really.
I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! If you need recipe suggestions, check out my other blog: Eat Clean Live Strong. There's some good stuff hidden in there......
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Operation Core of Power
Has begun! Look to see your Team Phoenix ladies widdling their mid sections down to reveal steel cut abs and frightening core skillz by the start of the new year! Our new T-shirt design will be uh-mazing. You'll want one.
Also, as a small reward for myself I'm going to be setting aside some money to FINALLY get the large tattoo on my stomach finished. With the fat gone and muscle securely underneath, I am banking on the experience being much easier to deal with than the last time...towel stuffed in my mouth and large tears streaking down my face. Not fun.
...totally excited.
Also, as a small reward for myself I'm going to be setting aside some money to FINALLY get the large tattoo on my stomach finished. With the fat gone and muscle securely underneath, I am banking on the experience being much easier to deal with than the last time...towel stuffed in my mouth and large tears streaking down my face. Not fun.
...totally excited.
Nuance of No
Increasing weight also increases chances of injury. The importance of learning when to back off can literally make or break you. This isn't always as cut and dry as one might believe, because well, Crossfit can be painful. Distinguishing pain from tired muscles and possibly your pansy ass coming back to haunt you, is a learned trait. Generally you learn by getting hurt.
We did push jerks again this morning, and while my back made no protest, after the first round my shoulder was certainly talking. As I came into complete the movement and push up overhead, my shoulder stood up and said "hello!" Not screaming, but with each rep the hello's became more audible and developed an echo. It felt a bit like metal on metal and I couldn't recruit the muscles needed in order to stay steady (it was too busy saying "hi" to me apparently). I dropped it 10lbs to a 65# bar after the second round. There's a slight ego bruise that is accepted when dropping weight due to possible or confirmed injury. Most of us Crossfitters have been conditioned to override most all of our instinctual "shut off" switches, but learning the nuances of when our body sincerely says "no" will help us live to fight harder another day. This is about long term, not 15 minutes of fiery glory followed by a week of mandatory rest. Save that shit for the games, this is practice.
Or, at least, this is what I told myself as one itty, bitty muscle in my right shoulder gently requested me to stop before it showed me who was really in control. I want to be doing this when I'm 70 years old, not reminiscing about it in a lazy boy.
On a completely different topic, this video sums up how I feel today and I have no reason whatsoeverastowhy. I just do.
We did push jerks again this morning, and while my back made no protest, after the first round my shoulder was certainly talking. As I came into complete the movement and push up overhead, my shoulder stood up and said "hello!" Not screaming, but with each rep the hello's became more audible and developed an echo. It felt a bit like metal on metal and I couldn't recruit the muscles needed in order to stay steady (it was too busy saying "hi" to me apparently). I dropped it 10lbs to a 65# bar after the second round. There's a slight ego bruise that is accepted when dropping weight due to possible or confirmed injury. Most of us Crossfitters have been conditioned to override most all of our instinctual "shut off" switches, but learning the nuances of when our body sincerely says "no" will help us live to fight harder another day. This is about long term, not 15 minutes of fiery glory followed by a week of mandatory rest. Save that shit for the games, this is practice.
Or, at least, this is what I told myself as one itty, bitty muscle in my right shoulder gently requested me to stop before it showed me who was really in control. I want to be doing this when I'm 70 years old, not reminiscing about it in a lazy boy.
On a completely different topic, this video sums up how I feel today and I have no reason whatsoeverastowhy. I just do.
Monday, November 16, 2009
It's not you it's me.
I bought a new car on Saturday, all by myself. My phone was dead during the negotiating, so I had to rely on years of logged information in my brain, I couldn't call anyone for a second opinion. After many hours driving cars and looking at bottom lines, I picked a 2005 Prius with high mileage that was in my price range. While the car was being detailed and prepped for my ownership I came close to demanding my truck back and getting the hell out of there. The internal dialogue was this: "I have never in my life owned a car with power locks, who the hell do I think I am? A Prius? Are you fucking kidding me? The car doesn't even have KEYS and the spark plugs cost $25 a pop! Did you LOOK at the mileage? Your grandfather is rolling in his grave, child." (he actually wouldn't be. I made a good decision) This was followed by a weak rebuttal and pleas for patience. Anywho, in spite of my atrocious internal dialogue of "you are not worthy of something this nice" I continued through with the process like a freaking zombie. I'm sure I was one of the strangest customers they have ever had. I was wrecked with buyer's remorse and instead of leaving the dealership excited and proud, I cried elephant tears all the way home.
As my boyfriend so eloquently put it when I collapsed into his arms:
"Baby, this isn't the typical reaction. Are you sure you are upset about a car?"
No, probably not but, then again I've never been known for responding in a typical manner. To say that I loved my old truck is the understatement of the century. I felt guilty driving away from it and that guilt hasn't completely disappeared.
However, this car is the nicest thing I have ever owned. It took me a few minutes this morning to realize that the heater is no longer the red portion of a circular dial, but that I actually adjust a thermostat. It even has a storage compartment for my friggin glasses! Welcome to the 21st century ErikaJeanne. The Prius and I are bonding and suddenly driving isn't the task it used to be, it feels more like an opportunity. Sure the mileage is high, but it's also a Toyota. I'm justifying myself back into reality and away from the ledge.
Today's workout was:
20 Med Ball Squat Cleans 20# Ball
5 Burpees
4 Rounds
Time : 8:43
plus med ball work
PS- due to a slight back tweakage from LIFTING 100LBS OVER MY HEAD ON FRIDAY I did not complete Fran. When I do Fran again, I will post my time and it will be sub 8 minutes. Trust.
As my boyfriend so eloquently put it when I collapsed into his arms:
"Baby, this isn't the typical reaction. Are you sure you are upset about a car?"
No, probably not but, then again I've never been known for responding in a typical manner. To say that I loved my old truck is the understatement of the century. I felt guilty driving away from it and that guilt hasn't completely disappeared.
However, this car is the nicest thing I have ever owned. It took me a few minutes this morning to realize that the heater is no longer the red portion of a circular dial, but that I actually adjust a thermostat. It even has a storage compartment for my friggin glasses! Welcome to the 21st century ErikaJeanne. The Prius and I are bonding and suddenly driving isn't the task it used to be, it feels more like an opportunity. Sure the mileage is high, but it's also a Toyota. I'm justifying myself back into reality and away from the ledge.
Today's workout was:
20 Med Ball Squat Cleans 20# Ball
5 Burpees
4 Rounds
Time : 8:43
plus med ball work
PS- due to a slight back tweakage from LIFTING 100LBS OVER MY HEAD ON FRIDAY I did not complete Fran. When I do Fran again, I will post my time and it will be sub 8 minutes. Trust.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Love Story
I'm not sure how many people read this blog, or have ventured into the archives from last year, but after reviewing recent posts which mention the death of my stepfather, I realize they have been slightly cryptic. My stepfather was diagnosed with stage IV secondary brain disease in July of 2008. You can read his blog here. Lung cancer was the culprit even though he presented no signs of a primary lung tumor. My stepfather was a very strong man, physically and mentally, he worked as a landscaper and had quit smoking triumphantly two years prior to this shocking diagnosis. Things were looking very positive up until October when he began to need blood transfusions almost weekly. On November 4th he and my mother received the news that the cancer had spread to all his major organs, bone marrow and almost all of his skeleton. This week last year, November 11th through the 16th, my mother, brother and myself worked around the clock, helping him die in his own bed. With the gracious support of family friends who brought us food and kept our home filled with laughter and love, and the wonderful staff at Hospice Austin, we were able to pull it off. The details of the days and hours and minutes are of no consequence at this point. It is something that if I had to do over again for someone, I would in a heartbeat, but I hope that day is a long time off. All that matters now is that we were by his side every moment, lock step as a family, filled with love and sadness, determined to see him off with dignity. And we did just that.
You have a choice on how you want to experience any given situation in your life and it's up to you which way you would like to go. I suggest trying to take the one with more love, more laughter and while you are there, developing a greater capacity to accept things we cannot change with grace.
I leave you with a great song, which was the first song to play on my ipod when I pulled out of my mother's driveway to head home after all was said and done. I cried. A. Lot. It was serendipitous. Also, the video has bunny costumes, and disco balls, yet more evidence that you can never go wrong with The Flaming Lips....
Lyrics
You have a choice on how you want to experience any given situation in your life and it's up to you which way you would like to go. I suggest trying to take the one with more love, more laughter and while you are there, developing a greater capacity to accept things we cannot change with grace.
I leave you with a great song, which was the first song to play on my ipod when I pulled out of my mother's driveway to head home after all was said and done. I cried. A. Lot. It was serendipitous. Also, the video has bunny costumes, and disco balls, yet more evidence that you can never go wrong with The Flaming Lips....
Lyrics
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
No, I did those to myself. Thanks for your concern.
Working with kettlebells can give you robust bruising if you are like me and get a little sloppy as the fatigue sets in. I look like I've been shaken down. Big, nasty black marks on my shoulders and wrists, conveniently right where a person might grab me, or punch me.
It makes for awkward moments at the checkout stand.
Most people don't say anything, they just give you a "look." One woman asked me if I was ok, eyebrows drawn and a pitying tone to her voice, to which I responded "yes! I'm having a great day, and you?" She was obviously confused by my sudden exuberance and glanced at my bruised arms. "Oh, oh no. No. I lift weights. See my hands?" After looking at the broken skin on my palms I think she believed me. She ended the conversation with "ok, good. Have a nice day." I felt somewhat guilty for not responding in the way she expected and hope she didn't feel strange about our encounter. Her intentions were pure, that's what matters most.
My boyfriend on the other hand would like me to try a little harder to not injure myself in ways that makes me look like an abuse case.
This morning was great. Really, really fantastic.
3 Rounds of:
5 Pull Up
10 Push Up (Chest2Deck Baby!)
15 Air Squats
.....3 rounds, 3 times, record times for each.
My times were:
Round One: 2:48
Round Two: 3:13
Round Three: 3:11
Why was this so fantastic?!?! BECAUSE dear readers, my pull ups felt fast and strong this morning. Granted I was not pairing them with thrusters, BUT I gained a nugget of confidence about getting the job done. I can tell myself in my moments of terror that I've done 15 in less than a minute, I can do 21 in one minute.
We have all had moments that we find ourselves questioning our resolve and the more we push through and make it to the other side unscathed, the stronger our resolve becomes. Guess what is testing my resolve right now? I'm starving. Like, to the point that for a split second I viewed the vending machines as food, which NEVER happens. Yours truly left her trusty lunch pale on the dining room table. In 45 minutes I will walk into a grocery store with a hunger the likes of which my body has not experienced in a LOOOONG time. I will practice deep breathing and make good decisions about what I will eat. Thank God for the leftover chicken in the work fridge. I think I would have passed out by now.
It makes for awkward moments at the checkout stand.
Most people don't say anything, they just give you a "look." One woman asked me if I was ok, eyebrows drawn and a pitying tone to her voice, to which I responded "yes! I'm having a great day, and you?" She was obviously confused by my sudden exuberance and glanced at my bruised arms. "Oh, oh no. No. I lift weights. See my hands?" After looking at the broken skin on my palms I think she believed me. She ended the conversation with "ok, good. Have a nice day." I felt somewhat guilty for not responding in the way she expected and hope she didn't feel strange about our encounter. Her intentions were pure, that's what matters most.
My boyfriend on the other hand would like me to try a little harder to not injure myself in ways that makes me look like an abuse case.
This morning was great. Really, really fantastic.
3 Rounds of:
5 Pull Up
10 Push Up (Chest2Deck Baby!)
15 Air Squats
.....3 rounds, 3 times, record times for each.
My times were:
Round One: 2:48
Round Two: 3:13
Round Three: 3:11
Why was this so fantastic?!?! BECAUSE dear readers, my pull ups felt fast and strong this morning. Granted I was not pairing them with thrusters, BUT I gained a nugget of confidence about getting the job done. I can tell myself in my moments of terror that I've done 15 in less than a minute, I can do 21 in one minute.
We have all had moments that we find ourselves questioning our resolve and the more we push through and make it to the other side unscathed, the stronger our resolve becomes. Guess what is testing my resolve right now? I'm starving. Like, to the point that for a split second I viewed the vending machines as food, which NEVER happens. Yours truly left her trusty lunch pale on the dining room table. In 45 minutes I will walk into a grocery store with a hunger the likes of which my body has not experienced in a LOOOONG time. I will practice deep breathing and make good decisions about what I will eat. Thank God for the leftover chicken in the work fridge. I think I would have passed out by now.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Anxiety Fran, and some other things too
I had an anxiety dream about the Fran workout last night.....
I arrived for the workout only to see that it had become a major competition. Instead of a handful of elite weight ladies, there were hundreds. The barbells were completely different; square plates with intricate jigsaw type locks for the barbells to slide into. In place of a traditional pull up bar were large rings suspended over 20 feet in the air. We had to jump up to grab them. None of the other athletes seemed to have trouble. Just as the officials were about to 3-2-1-GO, you'll never guess what showed up....
Zombies. I kid you not. Brain eating, half dead human, zombies. Mass hysteria broke out and I was relieved that I didn't have to do Fran. (note: Dear Subconscious Brain, you would rather fight ZOMBIES than do Fran? Really?) Anywho, people scatter, workout is forgotten and I end up in some ancient mansion with hordes of people trying to get away from the zombies. Then, it got really strange... Out of the crowd steps my deceased grandmother. We run into a room to hide out and start catching up on events since she has been dead. I ask her about my late grandfather and she tells me he was reborn a couple of years ago, she decided to stick around and watch over us, but should be joining him soon enough. (Weird) I asked if Tony (my late stepfather) was around and she said that he wasn't presently, like she was (?) but he's always available (??). The dream continued on its path to weirdville as her eyes started to cloud over and she began to look like someone else. I asked why she was looking so odd all of the sudden and she told me it was hard for her to keep matching my memory of her, because her true appearance would confuse me and make it more difficult for me to recognize her. Ooooookay. I woke up right after that.
On this day last year the levee between reality and hallucination inside my stepfather's brain broke open and he began his fast decline. Language becomes completely inadequate as my experience one year ago today reaches into territory that words cannot touch. I can say that this experience was a springboard into living my life differently, with more forgiveness and optimism; with a more concrete appreciation for this body of mine and a steadfast promise to treat it well. It is unfortunate that tragedy is sometimes the most profound reminder of how impermanent and wonderful this life is. I hope that most of us can reach that conclusion without being touched by that caliber of sadness first.
Anyway, Fran on Saturday, without zombies or visits from dead relatives. My goals have shifted slightly into positive thought and perfect form territory. I'm willing to sacrifice time if it means my mind is clear and my form stays stellar.
Suck it Fran...
I arrived for the workout only to see that it had become a major competition. Instead of a handful of elite weight ladies, there were hundreds. The barbells were completely different; square plates with intricate jigsaw type locks for the barbells to slide into. In place of a traditional pull up bar were large rings suspended over 20 feet in the air. We had to jump up to grab them. None of the other athletes seemed to have trouble. Just as the officials were about to 3-2-1-GO, you'll never guess what showed up....
Zombies. I kid you not. Brain eating, half dead human, zombies. Mass hysteria broke out and I was relieved that I didn't have to do Fran. (note: Dear Subconscious Brain, you would rather fight ZOMBIES than do Fran? Really?) Anywho, people scatter, workout is forgotten and I end up in some ancient mansion with hordes of people trying to get away from the zombies. Then, it got really strange... Out of the crowd steps my deceased grandmother. We run into a room to hide out and start catching up on events since she has been dead. I ask her about my late grandfather and she tells me he was reborn a couple of years ago, she decided to stick around and watch over us, but should be joining him soon enough. (Weird) I asked if Tony (my late stepfather) was around and she said that he wasn't presently, like she was (?) but he's always available (??). The dream continued on its path to weirdville as her eyes started to cloud over and she began to look like someone else. I asked why she was looking so odd all of the sudden and she told me it was hard for her to keep matching my memory of her, because her true appearance would confuse me and make it more difficult for me to recognize her. Ooooookay. I woke up right after that.
On this day last year the levee between reality and hallucination inside my stepfather's brain broke open and he began his fast decline. Language becomes completely inadequate as my experience one year ago today reaches into territory that words cannot touch. I can say that this experience was a springboard into living my life differently, with more forgiveness and optimism; with a more concrete appreciation for this body of mine and a steadfast promise to treat it well. It is unfortunate that tragedy is sometimes the most profound reminder of how impermanent and wonderful this life is. I hope that most of us can reach that conclusion without being touched by that caliber of sadness first.
Anyway, Fran on Saturday, without zombies or visits from dead relatives. My goals have shifted slightly into positive thought and perfect form territory. I'm willing to sacrifice time if it means my mind is clear and my form stays stellar.
Suck it Fran...
Monday, November 9, 2009
Pizza Face
Confession: I ate pizza three times last week. The first round of pizza was sans cheese and had super thin crust, but was still pizza nonetheless. The second round of pizza was company lunch and that shit was full octane, no joke. Thick crust, extra cheese and pepperoni. It was so good going down and then I spent the remaining afternoon feeling like I had just swallowed a tub of glue. Not pleasant. Round three was last night and it was the creme de la creme of crap: white pizza. I had one and a half pieces and that was all it took. I passed out on the couch in a carb and cheese induced stupor and was awakened a couple of hours later by the thirsts of all thirsts. I think I drank a liter of water in one go.
After round two of pizza my fate was sealed and I was blessed with the mother of all pimples smack dab right between my eyes. Every time I furrow my brow, which is a lot, it feels like a hot poker is stabbing me in the face. That's my body telling me that it's a two way street. Touche body of mine, touche....
My skin is cashed, my eyes are swollen and I promise to never do that again. Or at least for a long, long time.
This morning we had a fancy Tabata circuit:
Tabatas- 8 rounds for each exercise, 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off.
-KB Swings 16kg
-Butterfly sit ups (on back, soles of feet together, like the butterfly stretch)
-Push press 25# DBs
-squats
My lowest numbers for each round: 9/12/5/14
I keep getting these nerve zingers in my left arm now when I go over head with anything higher than a 20# dumb bell, so I attempted five push press reps and tried to get the form as close to correct as possible. I think I was doing more of a push jerk towards the end. Oh well.
Tomorrow Team Phoenix finalizes a new 6 week challenge to get us through the holidays while maintaining our focus. It's about to get strict again.....maybe that's why I ate so much pizza....
After round two of pizza my fate was sealed and I was blessed with the mother of all pimples smack dab right between my eyes. Every time I furrow my brow, which is a lot, it feels like a hot poker is stabbing me in the face. That's my body telling me that it's a two way street. Touche body of mine, touche....
My skin is cashed, my eyes are swollen and I promise to never do that again. Or at least for a long, long time.
This morning we had a fancy Tabata circuit:
Tabatas- 8 rounds for each exercise, 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off.
-KB Swings 16kg
-Butterfly sit ups (on back, soles of feet together, like the butterfly stretch)
-Push press 25# DBs
-squats
My lowest numbers for each round: 9/12/5/14
I keep getting these nerve zingers in my left arm now when I go over head with anything higher than a 20# dumb bell, so I attempted five push press reps and tried to get the form as close to correct as possible. I think I was doing more of a push jerk towards the end. Oh well.
Tomorrow Team Phoenix finalizes a new 6 week challenge to get us through the holidays while maintaining our focus. It's about to get strict again.....maybe that's why I ate so much pizza....
Friday, November 6, 2009
Baguette From the Future
The ancient Greeks believed that the past was in front of us and the future came up from behind. Their logic was that if the future were in front of you, wouldn't you be able to see it? Smart.
Most Native Americans view time as a continuous circle. The notion that life has a defined start and finish is nonsensical, as nothing really truly ends, it just changes form. Water to ice to water to steam. Totally smart.
I read an article last night about recent mishaps at CERN that shut down the LHC in Geneva. You know, that massive underground particle accelerator whose main purpose for existing is to recreate the big bang? My heart beats fast just thinking about it...anyway... Physicists generally live on a different level than everyone else. Their perception of matter, time, space, and how all these things function together in harmony to create the world we live in, is rooted in the theory that it is all malleable. Back to the LHC...there are some physicists wondering if the recent obstacles: dissolved magnets, and a BIRD DROPPING A PIECE OF A BAGUETTE (yeah, seriously)onto the machine and causing a ruckus, are actually attempts from the future to avoid catastrophe. That maybe, these little, tiny blips, are in some way futuristic monkey wrenches from our distant selves to avoid Pandora's Box. Read the article here. It's really fantastic.
As the anniversary of my stepfather's death approaches, my sense of time has grown uncomfortably acute. I wish to fold time and go back, perhaps to send myself pieces of baguette, little crumbs of wisdom to alter certain events ever so slightly. Maybe I did, and just never paid attention?
Workout:
5 Rounds for time
5 x 145 Deadlift
10 burpees
8 minutes
....on 5 hours of sleep no less.
Most Native Americans view time as a continuous circle. The notion that life has a defined start and finish is nonsensical, as nothing really truly ends, it just changes form. Water to ice to water to steam. Totally smart.
I read an article last night about recent mishaps at CERN that shut down the LHC in Geneva. You know, that massive underground particle accelerator whose main purpose for existing is to recreate the big bang? My heart beats fast just thinking about it...anyway... Physicists generally live on a different level than everyone else. Their perception of matter, time, space, and how all these things function together in harmony to create the world we live in, is rooted in the theory that it is all malleable. Back to the LHC...there are some physicists wondering if the recent obstacles: dissolved magnets, and a BIRD DROPPING A PIECE OF A BAGUETTE (yeah, seriously)onto the machine and causing a ruckus, are actually attempts from the future to avoid catastrophe. That maybe, these little, tiny blips, are in some way futuristic monkey wrenches from our distant selves to avoid Pandora's Box. Read the article here. It's really fantastic.
As the anniversary of my stepfather's death approaches, my sense of time has grown uncomfortably acute. I wish to fold time and go back, perhaps to send myself pieces of baguette, little crumbs of wisdom to alter certain events ever so slightly. Maybe I did, and just never paid attention?
Workout:
5 Rounds for time
5 x 145 Deadlift
10 burpees
8 minutes
....on 5 hours of sleep no less.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
140lbs and Owning It
This is a piggy back on Mel's INCREDIBLE post regarding her DEXA scan yesterday. I'm going to show some collective support and post some numbers of my own. I had my three month body comp check at the gym yesterday evening and have determined a few things:
1) 140lbs is probably my ideal weight at this point. In fact, I'd go as far to say that my ideal RANGE is anywhere from 138lbs-143lbs. Why is this ideal for me? Primarily because I really want to know what it feels like to lift 100lbs over my damn head, and I don't think muscle mass at a weight of 135lbs would support that goal.
Reality Check: I plucked my goal weight and measurements from a time that I was very unhealthy. At age 19 I was smoking close to two packs of cigarettes a day, eating only once per day, and in love with the fact I just could not feel my body. Weird, right? I tipped the scales at 117, felt like a lithe little thing, but could I climb a flight of stairs? Barely. You could have hung clothes on my clavicle. How gross is that?
2) I think that my days of losing inches, plural, en masse, are pretty much over. A quarter inch here, half inch there, sure. I am now on the level of fine tuning and tweaking, so my thick red marker of FAIL needs to go back in the desk.
Reality Check: The thick red marker of FAIL needs to be retired. COMPLETELY. How does feeling like a failure empower me to move forward? Um, it doesn't. I have never enjoyed proving myself wrong, just everyone else. I'm going to replace "try harder" with "keep going" and see how that works.
Ok, now for the moment of truth, here are my numbers, measurements in inches:
Weight: 140.8 (down 2lbs)
Body Fat: 24.2% (down 3%)
Calf: 14 (both, up 1, go calf muscles!!!)
Thigh: 21R 20.5L (switched from 3 months ago)
Bicep: 11.5 (both, up .5, strong, strong!)
Waist: 28.25 (same)
Chest: 34.25 (down .25, of course)
Shoulders: 40 (up .75, thank you pull ups)
Hips: 33.5 (same)
Neck: 12.25 (same)
There you have it. The only number that I would like to see inch its way down is the body fat. I'll be making my appointment for a fancy body scan here soon.
Wow, it doesn't feel like I'm standing here naked. Sweet.
1) 140lbs is probably my ideal weight at this point. In fact, I'd go as far to say that my ideal RANGE is anywhere from 138lbs-143lbs. Why is this ideal for me? Primarily because I really want to know what it feels like to lift 100lbs over my damn head, and I don't think muscle mass at a weight of 135lbs would support that goal.
Reality Check: I plucked my goal weight and measurements from a time that I was very unhealthy. At age 19 I was smoking close to two packs of cigarettes a day, eating only once per day, and in love with the fact I just could not feel my body. Weird, right? I tipped the scales at 117, felt like a lithe little thing, but could I climb a flight of stairs? Barely. You could have hung clothes on my clavicle. How gross is that?
2) I think that my days of losing inches, plural, en masse, are pretty much over. A quarter inch here, half inch there, sure. I am now on the level of fine tuning and tweaking, so my thick red marker of FAIL needs to go back in the desk.
Reality Check: The thick red marker of FAIL needs to be retired. COMPLETELY. How does feeling like a failure empower me to move forward? Um, it doesn't. I have never enjoyed proving myself wrong, just everyone else. I'm going to replace "try harder" with "keep going" and see how that works.
Ok, now for the moment of truth, here are my numbers, measurements in inches:
Weight: 140.8 (down 2lbs)
Body Fat: 24.2% (down 3%)
Calf: 14 (both, up 1, go calf muscles!!!)
Thigh: 21R 20.5L (switched from 3 months ago)
Bicep: 11.5 (both, up .5, strong, strong!)
Waist: 28.25 (same)
Chest: 34.25 (down .25, of course)
Shoulders: 40 (up .75, thank you pull ups)
Hips: 33.5 (same)
Neck: 12.25 (same)
There you have it. The only number that I would like to see inch its way down is the body fat. I'll be making my appointment for a fancy body scan here soon.
Wow, it doesn't feel like I'm standing here naked. Sweet.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Thruster PR
A few hours after Fran practice my partner Kito and I were driving to the grocery store and I began picking his brain about quieting the mind during workouts. His response was this:
It's physiologically impossible for your brain to stop thinking, that's what it does. Its job is to think and it's your duty to choose what thoughts to participate in. I can guarantee that not all of them are negative, you just know the outcome of the negative, so you go there first. Don't think of everything you have to do, focus on one at a time. Thinking about all the reps and motions will make your breath shallow....
My mouth was agape.
Wow Kito. Good job.
This morning's workout with Crystal's class was:
"Lizzette"
800m run
21 Thrusters 30# dumbbells
21 sit ups
400m run
15 Thrusters (5 @ 30#, arm zinger forced me to 25# for the rest)
15 sit ups
200m run
9 Thrusters
9 sit ups
time: 18:17
Um, 30# db's are ridiculous, and I allowed myself to be giddy about throwing them around for half the workout. That is a dumbbell thruster PR people! It was great to workout with those ladies again, missed them dearly.
Hopefully I can walk in the morning, because it's another early workout and I'm not allowed to back down....
It's physiologically impossible for your brain to stop thinking, that's what it does. Its job is to think and it's your duty to choose what thoughts to participate in. I can guarantee that not all of them are negative, you just know the outcome of the negative, so you go there first. Don't think of everything you have to do, focus on one at a time. Thinking about all the reps and motions will make your breath shallow....
My mouth was agape.
Wow Kito. Good job.
This morning's workout with Crystal's class was:
"Lizzette"
800m run
21 Thrusters 30# dumbbells
21 sit ups
400m run
15 Thrusters (5 @ 30#, arm zinger forced me to 25# for the rest)
15 sit ups
200m run
9 Thrusters
9 sit ups
time: 18:17
Um, 30# db's are ridiculous, and I allowed myself to be giddy about throwing them around for half the workout. That is a dumbbell thruster PR people! It was great to workout with those ladies again, missed them dearly.
Hopefully I can walk in the morning, because it's another early workout and I'm not allowed to back down....
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