Sorry for the lag, it's been a whirlwind of a month. March has a tendency to storm in, stake her claim for my life and then sneak out the back door without so much of a goodbye. It's cool though, I can forgive her...
I had my birthday! 29 years round the sun, and when I woke up that morning, I honestly felt different. First time in my waking memory that the world was a newer place, not filled with the same calamity, and a bit more sparkly with wonder. As much as I do not enjoy feeling disjointed and removed from my daily routine, this is different, and ok by me. Did my Saturn return and pass? That would be a welcome relief.
ANGIE, came in on Monday and didn't kick my ass quite as hard as she usually does. I can feel the full RX'd time approaching. I made it through 75 kipps in a little over 8 mins, and switched to push ups because my palm ripped. Push ups were solid, chest to the ground beauties, and dammit if I didn't fight for each one after number 80. Makes you feel like your face is going to pop right off your head. Yesterday (and a touch today) my abdominal column was so very taut. Thump, thump. Hard. I'm always amazed at how Angie (100 pull ups, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups and 100 squats) rearranges my notion of "easy" and "work." After the push ups are done, the rest goes so quickly, it feels like rest.
Yes, I did refer to 100 sit ups and 100 squats as "rest" and yes, I know how crazy that sounds.
OVERHEAD SQUATS, I OWN YOUR ASS NOW (as of this morning). Everyone has a "red-headed stepchild" olympic lift. Overhead squats have always been mine. They hurt the wrists, require an incredible amount of core stability and can be terrifying. They've even made my bottom lip quiver and my eyes fill with tears. BUT! This morning I got to 90#s! Red-headed stepchild no more.
AND I'M EATING A CUPCAKE THIS AFTERNOON. A real one. With sugar and butter. White sugar. Yellow butter. Probably a little cream cheese for the frosting.
I will probably need to be peeled off the ceiling.....
Monday, March 29, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Undertow
My house fell through today. It's irretrievable, lost behind legalities from an old marriage that wasn't disclosed until the clock had almost expired on our second option period. I'm drinking a beer, picking my heart off the floor, and reevaluating my intention. We've discussed the problem at length with lawyer friends and the time limit is just too long. It just wasn't meant to be.
If there is one thing I know with complete certainty, it's that my intention always prevails, in spite of what my desires grow into. My intention when this journey started was to build equity and purchase a home that would become rental property. Rental properties are not dream homes, and that little house in the trees off Webberville Road was borderline dream home for me.
So it goes....
The lesson I have here for anyone who cares to listen is that being a person of action is critical in living a decent life. It can be hard and very uncomfortable, but allowing the past to creep up and usurp your future is tragic on so many levels. I will never forget this, and I will button up the seemingly extraneous parts of my life so that down the line my goals will be clean and unfettered from the mistakes of the past and I think you should too. I lost this house because following through with completion of a divorce two years old was just too much to deal with. Yep. That's right.
When I was going through the double whammy of thyroid apocalypse and my stepfather's illness and death, I developed a very helpful meditation to deal with the stress of losing control. I imagine myself in an undertow. Pulled by forces I cannot stop, to a place that I do not know, I imagine myself limp and abiding. I know that I will accept where I end up, and I will flourish there.
Anysonofabitchican'tbelieveihavetodothisalloveragain..... IT'S A LEARNING EXPERIENCE....RIGHT?!?!?!? A'ight. I got it now, this is an electric fence we will not be hitting again.
Mr. Universe just gave me some more lemons, and I'm about to make one hell of a batch of lemonade.
If there is one thing I know with complete certainty, it's that my intention always prevails, in spite of what my desires grow into. My intention when this journey started was to build equity and purchase a home that would become rental property. Rental properties are not dream homes, and that little house in the trees off Webberville Road was borderline dream home for me.
So it goes....
The lesson I have here for anyone who cares to listen is that being a person of action is critical in living a decent life. It can be hard and very uncomfortable, but allowing the past to creep up and usurp your future is tragic on so many levels. I will never forget this, and I will button up the seemingly extraneous parts of my life so that down the line my goals will be clean and unfettered from the mistakes of the past and I think you should too. I lost this house because following through with completion of a divorce two years old was just too much to deal with. Yep. That's right.
When I was going through the double whammy of thyroid apocalypse and my stepfather's illness and death, I developed a very helpful meditation to deal with the stress of losing control. I imagine myself in an undertow. Pulled by forces I cannot stop, to a place that I do not know, I imagine myself limp and abiding. I know that I will accept where I end up, and I will flourish there.
Anysonofabitchican'tbelieveihavetodothisalloveragain..... IT'S A LEARNING EXPERIENCE....RIGHT?!?!?!? A'ight. I got it now, this is an electric fence we will not be hitting again.
Mr. Universe just gave me some more lemons, and I'm about to make one hell of a batch of lemonade.
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