Reel it back in, Sweet Pea

Guess who had another alarm clock debacle and missed another class? (eye roll)
You know when you trip on something, metaphorically of course, could be a problem at work, or a misstep in your finances, it tends to perpetuate itself until you devote a large amount of attention to correcting it?

Yeah, I'm there. I've ignored several very important aspects of my routine, ie-training, eating well, and taking care of my body, in order to divert more attention/energy to the larger, more vocal parts, ie-house buying, work, that suddenly, my body is screaming for help. Literally screaming: I had a large outbreak of hives paired with debilitating fatigue last week. In spite of the huge red welts on my face and body, I continued to ignore the pleas. Now, little body o' mine has basically reached critical mass and I'm headed straight for uber-sick-ville if I don't turn this car around.

I've forgotten the most critical reason why I do the wackadoodle things I do with my training, with my diet, with my determination:

......so that I'm capable of handling stress. Without it, I'm defenseless. Either you crush it, or it crushes you. Stress does not negotiate with your needs.

The energy required to climb back from this neglect is a lot more than if I had just continued the upkeep as per usual. The slight edge has been working against me.
I will hopefully have good news on the house front soon, but it's hard to say at this stage. So much is still hanging around in the ether, nothing solid yet, and it's driving me insane. If I'm going to survive this, I need to swap the beer for push ups. Stat.

Hear that, dear doppelganger? Time for you to G-T-F-O.

Fail Better

You can buy it here

Revelations

#1-I like burpee pull ups.

If I hadn't have jammed a part of my hand during a burpee on round two, I think the workout this morning would have gone down as most favorite ever.

5 Rounds
10 burpee pull ups
10 broad jumps
10 push ups
10 jumping lunges

#2-I can do fingertip push ups.

My jammed hand prevented me from doing regular push ups or burpees without pain. I scaled to fingertip push ups, and finger tip grip pull ups, which I have never done before, primarily because I didn't think "I was there yet." At first I was blown away by how easy the fingertip push ups were, then it was brought to my attention that "thigh to ground" isn't the way of the righteous, so "chest to ground" was reinstated. Hard, but not as hard as I thought.

Which leads me to my next point, one that I myself need to learn and practice as much as possible...

What is the point of avoiding something because "you aren't there yet?" What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for IT to be easy? Are you waiting for someone to tell you to move up or go heavier?

How many times have you allowed yourself to be pleasantly surprised?

One of the best pieces of advice I received was a couple of years ago from CC coach JDP. He asked me why I wasn't doing push ups on my toes yet, to which I replied, I couldn't do 10 in a row. In hindsight I see how ridiculous that statement was. He suggested that I do as many push ups on my toes, chest to ground, as I could do while everyone was counting to 10 during the warm up. If I could only get one, then I only got one. Be proud of that one, beautiful, perfect push up. Next week make it two, then three.... It worked. In a month I was gaining speed on the push ups and after a couple of months I was able to go all three rounds of the warm up on my toes.

I guarantee we're all stronger than we think we are, in workouts and in life. Don't cupcake on yourself! Trying and failing is still legions more successful than standing still. I definitely need to practice this every moment I can.

Check out CC coach Big Mike doing an old favorite with my new favorite at the main gym (Catherine, Anna, we should do this one and work in the norcals some way....)

Push Jerk and Burpee Pull Up WOD

Jeesh.

Sorry for the lag, it's been a whirlwind of a month. March has a tendency to storm in, stake her claim for my life and then sneak out the back door without so much of a goodbye. It's cool though, I can forgive her...

I had my birthday! 29 years round the sun, and when I woke up that morning, I honestly felt different. First time in my waking memory that the world was a newer place, not filled with the same calamity, and a bit more sparkly with wonder. As much as I do not enjoy feeling disjointed and removed from my daily routine, this is different, and ok by me. Did my Saturn return and pass? That would be a welcome relief.

ANGIE, came in on Monday and didn't kick my ass quite as hard as she usually does. I can feel the full RX'd time approaching. I made it through 75 kipps in a little over 8 mins, and switched to push ups because my palm ripped. Push ups were solid, chest to the ground beauties, and dammit if I didn't fight for each one after number 80. Makes you feel like your face is going to pop right off your head. Yesterday (and a touch today) my abdominal column was so very taut. Thump, thump. Hard. I'm always amazed at how Angie (100 pull ups, 100 push ups, 100 sit ups and 100 squats) rearranges my notion of "easy" and "work." After the push ups are done, the rest goes so quickly, it feels like rest.

Yes, I did refer to 100 sit ups and 100 squats as "rest" and yes, I know how crazy that sounds.

OVERHEAD SQUATS, I OWN YOUR ASS NOW (as of this morning). Everyone has a "red-headed stepchild" olympic lift. Overhead squats have always been mine. They hurt the wrists, require an incredible amount of core stability and can be terrifying. They've even made my bottom lip quiver and my eyes fill with tears. BUT! This morning I got to 90#s! Red-headed stepchild no more.

AND I'M EATING A CUPCAKE THIS AFTERNOON. A real one. With sugar and butter. White sugar. Yellow butter. Probably a little cream cheese for the frosting.

I will probably need to be peeled off the ceiling.....

Undertow

My house fell through today. It's irretrievable, lost behind legalities from an old marriage that wasn't disclosed until the clock had almost expired on our second option period. I'm drinking a beer, picking my heart off the floor, and reevaluating my intention. We've discussed the problem at length with lawyer friends and the time limit is just too long. It just wasn't meant to be.

If there is one thing I know with complete certainty, it's that my intention always prevails, in spite of what my desires grow into. My intention when this journey started was to build equity and purchase a home that would become rental property. Rental properties are not dream homes, and that little house in the trees off Webberville Road was borderline dream home for me.

So it goes....

The lesson I have here for anyone who cares to listen is that being a person of action is critical in living a decent life. It can be hard and very uncomfortable, but allowing the past to creep up and usurp your future is tragic on so many levels. I will never forget this, and I will button up the seemingly extraneous parts of my life so that down the line my goals will be clean and unfettered from the mistakes of the past and I think you should too. I lost this house because following through with completion of a divorce two years old was just too much to deal with. Yep. That's right.

When I was going through the double whammy of thyroid apocalypse and my stepfather's illness and death, I developed a very helpful meditation to deal with the stress of losing control. I imagine myself in an undertow. Pulled by forces I cannot stop, to a place that I do not know, I imagine myself limp and abiding. I know that I will accept where I end up, and I will flourish there.

Anysonofabitchican'tbelieveihavetodothisalloveragain..... IT'S A LEARNING EXPERIENCE....RIGHT?!?!?!? A'ight. I got it now, this is an electric fence we will not be hitting again.

Mr. Universe just gave me some more lemons, and I'm about to make one hell of a batch of lemonade.

May your day be as phenomenal as Freddy Mercury wearing an eyeball suit, surrounded by cherubs

Yep, just like that.

Yes.

These are my late grandparents as newly weds, playing on the beach in the Hamptons. We found this photo the morning after my grandmother lost her fight following quadruple bypass surgery, while we were still numb with grief, bundled with other equally sweet images of them as young lovers. As we sifted through their home we found caches of photos, letters, and treasure boxes cataloguing their life as friends, enemies, lovers, parents and most importantly: individual people. Surrounded by cryptic notes on scraps of paper and drunk love letters, we found ourselves heartsick and humbled at the depth of their partnership. My grandparents lived extremely full lives, travelled extensively and lived in over seven countries. Their lives were like magical stories when I was child, and I want to have a similar arsenal of tales when I get to be a wrinkled old lady. Which brings me to my the point of this post:

My grandfather had this amazing way of saying no, while making you believe he said yes. I remember him telling me once that "yes is one of the most powerful words a person can say to another, and to themselves." He was right. Check out this blog post The Power of Yes: A Simple Way to Get More Out of Life. The author makes solid points about how to begin living the life you want. A lot of times we find ourselves day dreaming about the things we want, with no idea of how to take the first step.

"We all have dreams, but most of us make excuses for not pursuing them. Often these excuses aren’t overt. It’s more a matter of inertia, of just ignoring the dreams, of maintaining the comfortable status quo. But you can break out of your comfort zone to get more out of life through the simple power of yes."

Let's wash our lives in a big bucket of Yes and see where it gets us, shall we?