Pink Horses and Glitter Will Kill Your Stupid Sad Face.

A couple of days ago, a good friend and I were discussing how annoying self love talk and positive thinking talk has been for us lately. We are so wonderfully in tune to the positive side of things, when we actually WANT to be in a funk it takes work to remain there. Let me repeat this: IT TAKES US WORK TO BE SAD FACE. Revolutionary thought, eh? When we're happy, I don't think the majority of us immediately begin listing everything that is amazing in our lives to perpetuate the happiness... Most of us simply allow it to be, thankful it's there. We probably say things like "what a pretty day" or "I love being stuck inside when it's too cold for life" Yet, when the pouty face rolls in, so does the laundry list of negative things and we say things like "too bad the sun sucks so much" and "it will never be warm again." If I so much as waver off the negative thinking task while having my pouty face on, my brain strides in on a fucking pink horse of glitter and babydontbesosadface rainbows to pull me out of the trenches. What a pain in the ass that can be.

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that my back would not be well enough to go back to Crossfit for a few weeks. This is a real injury, and one that will haunt me if I don't heal correctly. It could mean the difference between doing box jumps at 70 or reminiscing about doing box jumps at 70. I threatened to punch a puppy, or at least curse at a pretty flower. Instead I yelled at my dirty dishes for being so dirty all the time.

I'm still thoroughly annoyed at how reasonable I am, how I always choose the high road in the majority of difficult situations, and how I always manage to find the tiniest speck of positivity in seemingly bleak situations. For the first time, I'm giving credence that my inner cheerleader is stronger than the darkness and being beaten on by pom poms of "buck up bitch" is much more painful to take.

It's easier to be happy for once and oh dear God, that is SO ANNOYING to say.