Dear Universe/God/Brahma/Allah/FSM/Xenu/Carl Sagan/Man in the Sky, could I please, please, please, please get a FAH-REAKIN first of the month assessment which does not also coincide with the ONE DAMN week a month that I am at my lowest-low?
Please?
I'm down with adversity, you do know this by now. I take your heavenly punches on my chin while maintaining a shit eating grin and I carry that blasted torch of optimism courageously through your most brutal below the belt assaults.... HOWEVUH, two totally different sets of hormones puking up all over my insides for seven days a month is not healthy for anyone. Even people that don't know me or know of my existence. Could you please direct me to the path that will help just one of them calm the hell down? Thyroid, to be exact. If you even look sideways at my uterus I will cut you. Capiche?
*/rant*
Moving on, I need to regroup some goals....
Goal #1- For some reason I feel like my life will be completely perfect at 135lbs. I plucked that number out of my past, I've gone as skinny (read: emaciated and starving) as 118 before, and felt that 135 lbs was a healthy weight. A healthy weight with no muscle. I'm starting to wonder if 135lbs that also includes the kind of muscle required to over head 100#s is comparable to me wanting to ride a unicorn and have fairies clean my house. All of them sound freaking awesome, but aren't rooted in any kind of reality close to this one. Maybe I should aim towards dropping that body fat, and stay off the scale.
Goal #2- The 200 Club. I'm there, so close, standing two inches to the left. Do you see me? I'm the one that looks like I just ate a slug.
Core work comprises lots of things, not just isolated ab work. I need to do front squats. I need to dead lifts. I need to do lots of these things over and over again. Form, form, form. This morning during totals, I'd start the lift, my back would curl, and Jen would shout. While I could walk away from that lift this morning with my lower back in perfect condition, my ego remains shattered in pieces on the floor of that gym. Not sure which hurts more, but I know which one heals more easily.
Goal #3- Etsy store for the workout journals. Coming next week....
I have smoked salmon, cabbage and avocado nori rolls for lunch today (YUM) and tonight I'm doing plank for, like, AN HOUR. I'm also going to relish in the new reality of no longer being the breadwinner and allowing my psuedo-husband to make more money than I do. I'm so proud of him I feel like I could explode into confetti and silly string. I missed that two income household structure so much.....
2 comments:
I feel you on the 135. I actually feel that way about 134 and 132. 127, also. But, I tell myself that being strong means the scale no longer matters. Some days, it works. Others, it doesn't.
If it helps with your persepective any, I thought you were in the low 120's because you are so petite but all muscle. :) You're the pixie look I always wanted to be able to look like :)
being strong destroys the scale! truth be told, i've been at a steady 140-143 for the last three months, and i don't think it's going to go down any. i think i just need to own that number and be proud.
thanks for the perspective Georgia, it's hard to "see" yourself when you feel so dense. i feel very dense lately, haha! and, my dear, you are TINY considering how much you can throw around. seriously.
death to the scale, let's breath some life into reality....
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